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 Actons WAR! story

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|PP| Acton70
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PostSubject: Actons WAR! story   Sun Jan 10, 2010 9:26 am

im 14 so go easy on the critiscism. Btw i wrote it in a sort of shorthand. Thats why i made a sorta line for each character talking. The story is about trench warfare


"Get your head down private!!!"

"Sorry sergant, I haven't had a kip for yonks"

"Do you think any of we have either? Now get your rifle and meet me up top"

Private jones scrambled to his feet, Grabbed his rifle and followed the sergant.

"But sir, I just keep watch. How can you expect me to fight?"

"Just fire the damn thing"

Jones popped his head over the parapet drew his rifle and took aim. he noticed a german soldier who had his head above the trenches. Jones had never killed before, He didn't want to either. But he couldn't exactly refuse.

He squeesed the trigger, It was over in a flash. The enemy soldier fell to a crumpled heap on the floor.

Thats one i have killed he thought.
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|PP| Wipster179
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PostSubject: Re: Actons WAR! story   Sun Jan 10, 2010 9:30 am

wow, that got me gripped love it! the end was awesome, im gonna give you 20 points for creativity

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PostSubject: Re: Actons WAR! story   Sun Jan 10, 2010 9:35 am

nice story
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